Interviewer:So listen, I’m not sure how to broach this subject. There’s a lot of half-naked men in Jackass, and a lot of anal play and nipple torture and testicle touching. Is it possible that Jackass is at least a smidge gay?
Knoxville:I’m offended you just said a smidge!
Interviewer:It’s more than a smidge?
Knoxville:We’re over here sitting on rainbows and you say a smidge.
Interviewer:You’re a gay pride parade waiting to happen?
Knoxville:We’re a gay pride parade that’s happening! And in 3-D!
Interviewer:It’s not just homoerotic tension?
Knoxville:No, man, it’s all about release with us.
Steve-O:We always thought it was funny to force a heterosexual MTV generation to deal with all of our thongs and homoerotic humor. In many ways, all our gay humor has been a humanitarian attack against homophobia. We’ve been trying to rid the world of homophobia for years, and I think gay people really dig it too.
Interviewer:This was way too easy. I had all of these questions designed to lure you into admitting your subconscious desire to fuck each other. But apparently you’re not suppressing anything.
Knoxville:Suppressing?! Wait till I tell the guys you said suppressing! We’re not suppressing anything! We’re over here sitting on dicks!
Sally was driving home from one of her business trips in Northern Arizona when she saw an elderly Navajo woman walking on the side of the road.
As the trip was a long and quiet one, she stopped the car and asked the Navajo woman if she would like a ride. With a silent nod of thanks, the woman got into the car.
Resuming the journey, Sally tried in vain to make a bit of small talk with the Navajo woman. The old woman just sat silently, looking intently at everything she saw, studying every little detail, until she noticed a brown bag on the seat next to Sally.
'What in bag?' asked the old woman.
Sally looked down at the brown bag and said, ‘It’s a bottle of wine. I got it for my husband.’
The Navajo woman was silent for another moment or two. Then speaking with the quiet wisdom of an elder, she said:
1: Full name? Joshua Keith Malone 2: Current crush? That’s a good question. My crushes change anytime I see a cute guy. XD 3: Addiction? World of Warcraft 4: How tall am I? 6’1 5: Relationship status? Single 6: Girls I trust? Brittany, Keleigh, Kelly 7: Boys I trust? Lee, Ben 9: Current mood? Hungry. Is that a mood? 10: Favorite color? Greeeen 11: Confession: I watch porn. 12: Who I miss? My friend Poon. Effin’ long time since we hung out. We got to hang out last night and I was so glad to get to see him. 13: Who I last hugged? I think Kiya at work. 14: Who understands me? Lol 15: Someone who is always there for me: Kelly, Ben, Brittany, and Keleigh 16: Last Text? Poon: “I think it’s ham. lol” 17: Who’s a stranger: This Larry Ramsey guy that keeps stalking me on Facebook. >__>; 18: Who makes me laugh the most? Brittany and Keleigh. 19: Who I do the craziest stuff with? Once again, Brittany and Keleigh. 20: Who makes me smile? Anybody that is glad to see me, honestly. 21: What am i listening to? Nothing at the moment. I’m craving The Planets by Holst though. 22: Turn ons? Pretty eyes, nice lips, abs, nerdiness. Sometimes I like a guy to have stubble. 23: Turn offs? Ignorance. 24: Bestfriends? Keleigh, Brittany, Lee, Kelly, Ben. 26: Second confess? I’ll be on an adult website as a webcam spotlight soon. lol 27: What I hate? I try not to hate most of the time. 28: Who’s annoying? The “that’s for babies” girl on that fucking cereal commercial. I want to slap a hoe.